Gathering the needed supplies from foreign shelves, one discovers you are fresh out of friends. Time to find some:
Two different expat events this weekend afford the opportunity to shop around. From the vantage point of being new, you have no idea the history in the room and it's like crunching through new snow. Your brain whirls and clicks, trying to place this new face with a favorite familiar personality, beginning to zone in on who you feel an affinity with. There's a wonderful mix of kids of all sizes and co-parenting going on, long timers and those who are counting the minutes. Good food, good libations.
There is an expat ritual: the instant networking of geography, and who you know in common from other posts. Playing this part of the game is like a litmus test for your own legitimacy. Satisfied that you have some information to build opinions on, you chat at home about the hits and misses. And all the while you realize, people are doing the same window shopping of you.
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2 comments:
People mark the chapter changes in my book of life. I sorta wish it wasn't so, because it get to feeling out-of-control of my life at transitions.
But it wasn't always the case. I mean I didn't always feel out of control. The chapters used to flow with grief and joy mingling quickly. For some reason, friending happened more quickly when I was younger.
I don't really think that has anything to do with actual age or capacity... but more to do with stage and expectations.
Anyway, it is so very 'true' to hear you talking about this. The one thing I remember about friending away from Canada, was the mutality of the drive to connect. This is not true on the 'home-front'. The drive is much more one way here.
Anyway, UNDOUBTEDLY, you are a rich and wonderful half of any pending friendship.
Hoping you find some interesting friends who also like a good margarita.
Jay is having a rough time in this respect too - also feeling a bit like an alien. Loves the classes but the jock/frat guys on the hall aren't doing it for him. Interestingly enough, he ran into a high school friend from Egypt yesterday on campus who was/is much more like him. Nice.
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